Thursday, November 27, 2008

My ass fell off today....

Today is 121 days clean for me and it's been a very hard day for me since it's also the 6th anniversary of the day I brought my Pop home from the hospital after his stroke and began my journey as his caregiver and the first Thankgiving without being by his side on this special day as he lies in a hospice in Upstate NY and I sit alone in little furnished studio on the edge of the open desert feeling sorry for myself most of the day unable to get my skinny ass out of bed or stop crying until 5:00 this afternoon until I got a text message from my sponsor, Mike N. to write a list of 10 things that I was thankful for today so I am going to get in the shower, shave and drag my ass to the 7:00 NA meeting at the N. Scottsdale Fellowship after I write and share that list here with you:

I am thankful for:

1) Being 121 days clean, alive, and unicarcerated.

2) Having a roof over my head and food in my fridge.

3) Having a new source of of subsistence level income from my hard negotiated contract with Hythiam, Inc which was finialized this week.

4) Having the ability to talk to and help three people today who are newer to sobriety than I am.

5) Having the continued support from many people in the program as well as my professional counselors like Paula Artac, Annette Pucia, Kirby Maus and Ana Gomez.

6) Knowing that when I walk in that door in one hour at the fellowship hall that someone will be there who has walked the same walk I have and that the lights will be on.

7) That my vision of creating a 501(c)(3) nonprofit art therapy program and foundation for recovering addicts is now a reality as of two days ago and that we're now in early lease negotiations for our own building in the Roosevelt Row arts and cultural district.

8) That my lifelong dream of a career in politics to make a difference in this world is one step closer to becoming a reality and that I'm in the final consideration to receive a fellowship ino the 2009 program at The Center for Progressive Leadership.

9) Having a sponsor like Mike N. who seems to know exactly what I need to do and the exact time I need to do it and be willing to gudie me through it no matter what.

10) Having a higher power in my life who loves me unconditionally and gives me the strength at times such as this when my ass falls off to quite simply bend over, wash it off, put it in a bag and take it to a meeting!

Happy Thanksgiving! I am truly blessed today!

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